It’s been one year since I married by lovely bride in August of 2013.
As I’ve been soaking up all the superbly fond feelings associated with all of this, I looked back on some posts from a [now retired] personal blog. Here are some excerpts:
I didn’t know it could be this good.
I’ve been deliberating for a while now about how to introduce this topic—or rather, how to introduce the woman in my life. I have typed and backspaced and ruminated, but that line above outshone every other clever or charming thing I could think of.
I’m in love. And I didn’t know it could be this good.
And now, realizing that our bios on here don’t exactly tell much of our story, I thought I’d re-post more of what I first posted for friends and family back in May if 2013:
I met Allison at work in April 2012, when I accidentally fell face first into working at a Residential Treatment Center, in the most significant part-time job I would ever pick up.
I could really get myself in trouble here, because the first thing I noticed about her, of course, is how amazing she looks in a black pencil skirt. I know. Super shallow. I guess I should apologize for my obvious man-ishness. I wish I could say, “The very first thing I noticed about her was the kind way she talks to panhandlers,” or “I was really intrigued by her proper use of the semi-colon.” But I can’t. My first impression of her was, “oh, damn.” Please, dear reader, accept my apologies for this entire paragraph.
Either way, let’s face it. In that first moment that I saw her in the staff office, before either of us had ever said a word, I couldn’t possibly have known any other detail about her. But I wanted to.
Okay wait. I actually did know one thing about her. I knew what this place was about, and the fact that she worked there automatically made her that much more appealing. I quickly picked up on a few other things that formed my first impression. She has a kind voice. So expressive and soft and soulful. Comforting. She speaks some really great words with that voice. She plays up the silliness, sass, and sarcasm at times, but her intellect and nurturing nature shine through. She’s got smarts.
One of the most attractive things about her, however, is how she cares for the girls we work with. She displays a knowingly calm affect, and is dangerously insightful and observant.
But we worked on different shifts. It seemed like it might take forever to find myself in some sort of staff meeting or other scenario where I could strike up a conversation, so I very deliberately sent her a text message to see if she could cover part of my shift for me.
In reality, I did not need any shift coverage. I had no reason to need time off that day. I was simply hoping to start a dialogue with her. It was a pretty good ploy. Soon we were exchanging our charm and wit via text message. I’ll spare you the details. At one point during the exchange, she asked, “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“Um, I am now.”
There was chemistry from day one, but let me stop you there. There were some mild complications. She was somewhat involved with another guy, so I backed off.
A little. :)
The two of us maintained contact, however, and grew to be friends from an appropriate distance. She even tried to set me up with her best friend, and then tried to get me to befriend this guy she was seeing. It didn’t work as well as she might have hoped.
I’ll skip ahead a bit. You don’t need to hear about her business. Suffice it to say we held healthy boundaries.
Later last summer, she received a promotion to Team Leader on my shift. [ As a reminder, the house of 30-ish teenage girls is managed, at any given time, by two Team Leaders. ] Our chemistry, which we had already identified and readily dismissed, really became apparent as we worked as Co-TLs on the same shift. We planned together, problem-solved, improvised, and played off one another like pros. Soon, staff and students alike referred to us as Mom and Dad. It was no secret that we adored each other. We bonded in a hundred ways, through tough, 14-hour days at work, heart-breaking scenarios with struggling kiddos, and the most rewarding Ropes Course ever held. We shared secrets, emotional baggage, laughter and tears.
We both came in early to work and stayed late, partially because we are both a little extra-motivated, and partially because we just liked spending that time together. Soon, we were best friends. The best.
Eventually, once she, I, and the universe worked things out, we already had the foundation built for a really great relationship. Once I was free to really let loose the flirts and cuddles, things fell into place very quickly. So quickly, in fact, that I think we both felt the need to defend it when we brought it up to friends, family, and co-workers.
I think we were both pleasantly surprised (and mildly-embarrassed?) each time we told someone about us. We approached it like it was a carefully kept secret that we were letting people in on individually. “Hey, so I wanted to let you know that Allison and I are dating. It’s pretty serious.”
Each time, we got a response like, “Um, no duh. So what was it you wanted to tell me about?” :)
Yeah. No duh. It was a long time coming. And as I said at the beginning, I just didn’t know it could be this good. I’ll spare you the comparisons to ex-girlfriends. If you already know, you already know, and if you don’t, there’s no need. The only reason I mention it is because those women, for better or worse, helped point me toward this one.
In fact, after a particularly difficult break-up, when I was looking hard to find some zen while I was navigating the uniquely horrifying aftermath of a love-gone-wrong, I said something in a post here on the blog:
I know I’m not doomed. I know I’ll have no trouble finding a woman who will recognize those traits in me that she’s been looking for in a companion, and I’ll recognize her in that way, too. We all get our hearts broken sometimes, and they can mend when we do our part. Our love for that person wanes, yet remains in some misunderstood way, even as we fall for someone new, and we look back later and it all makes sense because it led us . . . here.
In a world without time, there’s a woman out there who I belong to; not because of fate, but because our choices will lead us right into each other’s arms. We’re not together tonight, but I know as I sit here typing this, she’s somewhere not-too-far-off. A time will come when I’ll find myself with her in my arms, our foreheads pressed together . . . déjà vu? No. The inevitable eventuality of our choices. And however it all works, being there with her, all of this will make perfect sense.
Take that, Nostradamus.